It’s been an amazing summer *off*. After a few (okay, six) weeks of harsh adjustment of having two kids (who am I?), I found it quite enjoyable to be home. I enjoyed my maternity leave with Jack, don’t get me wrong, but I was too concerned with schedules, which side I nursed on last, germs, cloth diapering etc. to “do” anything other than run to Target or my mother’s house. So this time, I am pleasantly surprised at my semi-relaxed state — I was practically fearless; nursing in the lobby of Tire Discounters or a bench at the zoo, leaving the house without all of the “just-in-case” items.

Granted, Jack was only home on Mondays and Fridays, so I won’t declare that I’m a stay-at-home mom rockstar. For the record, you don’t really stay-at-home. In fact, it is the last place you want to be; unless you like your house wrecked.

Your days get filled ridiculously fast.

Between Violet’s schedule and attempting a nap anywhere from 1-4p for Jack, there are a few precious hours to do “what you want”. And, somehow it becomes a toss-up between lunch with a friend and a shower and a grocery run. Oh, and you want to do something fun with the 2-year old during the magical hour he isn’t behaving like he is two. The days are especially short if for some strange reason you want to impress your husband by having some semblance of a dinner ready and a “kept” home. The latter mainly involves frantically picking up at 4p in an attempt to mask the aforementioned rampages and various attempts at Pinterest activities.

Aside: It is perfectly reasonable to call your mother to “babysit” the sleeping children in the car while you run into stores to do errands. End aside.

We played with the water table, we discovered Super Why (to the book club!), there were endless games of baseball. We cuddled. We played with the iPad way too much. Talked, listened, screamed in frustration. We made sure Nana kept us company. Went to Trader Joe’s and Target more than necessary. Violet went along like the trooper that she is, cooing endlessly. We had fun. And we forgot to take pictures.

So it’s been amazing in that mundane, regular-life kind of way. I can do it. It is not easy, but it is possible (with the help of a loving Nana). I’m not ready to commit full-time yet, but it isn’t as scary of a thought as it once was.